Part of being a great leader is connecting with those you lead by communicating effectively. It sounds simple, but miscommunication is almost always at the heart of any conflict we encounter.

For effective communication to happen, you need to align "what I think I said," what you heard me say," and "what I really meant to say." The space between the transmitting and receiving of information leaves room for error or miscommunication. If we are not on the same page, there is room for mixed messages and misunderstandings–all of which create drama and gossip that impacts the performance and culture of a team.

Communication is a two-way street. At times we transmit information, and at other times we receive information. Most of the time, when we start a conversation, we do not specify the type of communication we are seeking. Often that is because we have not stopped long enough to consider the kind of response we want. Instead, we leave it to the other person to assume what we are asking and likely get it wrong.

What if there was a way to give each other a heads-up on what we are about to say? Literally, we could send our intent, or what we need, before transmitting the message. Let me introduce you to a tool from GiANT that can help you do just that: The Communication Code: critique, collaborate, clarify, care, and celebrate.

Using the Communication Code will help both sides in a conversation "send and receive" the right message. It enables you to identify the type of communication you want, then express that to others. Asking for what you want can improve the effectiveness of your communication and create less wear and tear in relationships. Here are the five types of communication in more detail:

Critique: When you want someone to ask questions or provide critical feedback, ask for their critique. This can be helpful when you are weighing options or wanting others to help reveal potential blind spots.

Collaboration: When you want others to actively contribute to a conversation or process, request their collaboration. This can be helpful when you wish to benefit from the perspective, experiences, and skills of others. 

Clarify: If your top priority is to be sure you have been heard correctly, regardless of whether or not they agree with or like what you have said, ask others to clarify what they understood you communicated by repeating it back to you – in their own words. 

Care: Sometimes, we simply want to be heard and not judged. This can be helpful when we are hurt, afraid, or confused. If you want someone to listen while you process thoughts and feelings – and not judge you if you are not presently functioning as the best version of yourself – ask if they can show they care by listening as you process.

Celebration: Other times, we want to savor a positive experience. There may be outstanding questions or future action steps that remain, but for a time, we want to put those on a shelf and celebrate. When this is what you are seeking, invite others to celebrate with you.

We all have default communication codes unless we're deliberately trying to use a different one. So, for example, my default code is critique; I might even think I am collaborating when I start weighing in with difficult questions and challenges. Still, people will interpret it as critique, and it wasn't what they were looking for. And the truth is, most of the time, the other person just wants me to take the time to truly understand what they are saying. No one usually wants critique first. If I'm unaware of this, I'll automatically go with my default and not give others what they need.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard, I don't need you to try to fix it. I just wish you would listen! Which makes me think, I wish you would have told me! It's easier to understand which code to use when given a hint about what the other person is looking for.

As the communicator – Do you usually communicate your expectations?

As the Listener ­–Do you ask what they want from you? Do you want me to critique, collaborate, clarify, care, or celebrate?

There is a purpose and valuable use for every Communication Code, so if we fail to improve in our most challenging Codes, then we will inevitably fail to communicate well. If we want to give the right amount of support and challenge to those we lead, it's important to fully learn to express each and every Communication Code in our leadership.