"The common personalistic orientation to the term leadership, with its assumption that 'leaders are born and not made,' is quite dangerous.  It fosters both self-delusion and irresponsibility."[1] That's strong stuff right there. Of course, there are opposing opinions to what Heifetz said. Still, the more I learn about leadership, the more I feel that leadership can be learned – and when we pigeonhole leadership into strictly a trait model, that can be hazardous. For one, it gives the impression (a false one, at that) that "leadership" is reserved for the few, naturally born trailblazers. Also, as Heifetz said, when we focus too much on the Leadership Trait Approach, people can "escape responsibility for taking action, or for learning how to take action, when they see the need." [2]  Leadership, like Heifetz said, is "an activity."[3] Said another way, leadership can be learned – and it takes a lot of learning, and a lot of intentionality to be a good leader. To be a great leader, it takes insane intentionality. 

I didn't always think this way. I used to think (inaccurately) that you either get it or you don't get it – you either have what it takes to be a leader, or you don't. I also used to think (arrogantly) that I was one of those – the elite naturally-gifted leaders.  I used to think that God has made me and wired me to be a red temperament, to be a driver, to be a pioneer, to be an enneagram 8, to be a doer, to make things happen.  That He knitted me in my mother's womb…and that I should embrace all that He has made me to be, and quit trying to fight against what He created me to be.  In other words, go conquer mountains, go in the Mayflower and see that the world is not flat, go and do, and drive, and execute. I had been the decisive leader that would lead-out with strength, conviction, and quickness. In other words, because I was strong (really, loud), convicted (really, close-minded), and quick (really, lacking due-diligence), I was a naturally gifted leader.  Yuck. I cringe with first-hand embarrassment when I look back at the mindset that I had, thinking of myself as a natural leader. Truly, the only reason I can write this for people to take-in is because over the past two decades, I have been diving deep to do some serious hard work; and, by the grace of God, I have gravitated towards understanding my temperament, wiring, and learned behaviors to be a better leader. 

So I have jumped in with insane intentionality, and I have taken every personality and temperament assessment under the sun; and I have become certified in many of them. This is not to become a self-absorbed assessment junkie so I can talk about myself more; but because the more layers of my personal onion that I peel back, the more I learn about myself. And it's not just understanding myself better, it's also understanding the temperaments/wiring/personalities that are different from mine. Forthwith, the more I lean in with insane intentionality to learn more about me (and those that are different), the better me I can tee-up to people I lead (or have influence with). And, I think it goes to reason from a logical perspective, if those around me get a better me, they get a better leader – which means they get led better than before. 

Assessments are good, but we can't stop there. I didn't stop there. We (I) also need to dive into our past, to our stories, to our conscious and subconscious thinking. Twenty years ago, I would have said that is ridiculous.  Fifteen years ago, I would have said, "okay…there is definitely some truth to the unconscious being powerful…but is it what matters most? That's a stretch, don't you think professionally certified counselor/therapist?" But as I continued to dig in to this stuff, there has been really deep clipping and pruning and reshaping of me via deep psychotherapy counseling. From this, my opinion has radically changed – the unconscious does matter in a much bigger way than I would have ever fathomed. Even saying that, I still don't know what I don't know. If my unconscious is a HUGE part of me, then for me to sit here and say (or write) to you that I now have it all figured out would be preposterous. I want to be that gullible and impressionable, but I can't – not now. Not that I have now done some deep work.  It kind of depressed me for a while how easily I can be manipulated via so much that is going on in my subconscious. But going deep into this stuff gave me some real acuity when, for example, David Brooks implies that we are kidding ourselves: "…the conscious mind assigns itself the starring role.  It gives itself credit for performing all sorts of tasks it doesn't really control."[4] Yikes. Scary. True. Illuminating. Helpful. Learning. Insane learning. Insane intentionality. 

All of this – the assessments, the therapy, the deep-dive into being intentional about knowing myself better gave me deeper empathy and humility for those that are different than me. Different in wiring, temperament, personality, socioeconomic, ethnic, religious, and geographical status.  Additionally, it provided me (in a good way) with humility towards myself.  In other words, it helped me give myself a break from a lot of the junk that has happened in my life. So much of the junky behaviors that I have displayed as a leader are the byproduct of the culture, sub-culture, environment, and family that I grew up in. I, simply stated, have had a lot of negative reactions and responses in my life, but not because of me – rather because of things outside of my control. That's not an indictment today against other people for what they did yesterday; but it does provide a deep and plausible understanding of how I became the person that I did.  And, it goes without saying (but I want and need to say it), I am responsible for me – not my past, not ill-will from others that was put on me. I am responsible for me. But to get there, with this mindset, requires insane intentionality.   

So, where do I go from here? Where do you go from here?

To become so astute with emotional intelligence (specifically in this area, with self-awareness), conscious and subconscious thinking (AND integration of the two), and getting professional help (i.e., Spiritual Director, counseling, coach, etc.) where it is needed. To be a great leader, you have to be insanely intentional in your own work. Tod Bolsinger sums it up well: "Unchartered leadership is absolutely dependent on the leader's own ongoing exploration, learning and transformation."[5] We can't lead well if we aren't well. 

But everything I have just said is only part I. Part II is coming shortly. And because I don't want to leave you hanging out there scratching your head saying, "And? What's next?," let me say this: The concept that people are self-feeders and will rise to a Rockstar leadership level on their own is a myth and unicorn. You can't intentionally address and improve things you're not aware of. Knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are and how you need to improve isn't enough. You need someone else….

So all that to say, It takes two things to become a great leader: (1) A person who earnestly and intentionally wants to be developed to be a better leader; and (2) Someone who is going to meet them where they are to help them grow to the next level.

[1] Ronald A. Heifetz, Leadership Without Easy Answers, 1 edition. (Cambridge, Mass: Harvard University Press, 1998)., 20.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid.

[4] David Brooks, The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement, Reprint edition (New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2012), xi.

[5] Tod Bolsinger, Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2015), 218.