"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." –Richard Bach
I wanted the extra pay; I wanted the increased level of leadership and responsibility. I wanted to have the ability to manage all of the business in Missouri, and most of it in Illinois. It was a big job. It was a big responsibility. So, I talked myself into taking the gig. I moved my family three states over.
Buckle up. Here we go.
Then came the negative, inhibiting, prohibiting talk from peers, subordinates, and a few key leaders above me:
"There is no way that you can turn this territory around."
"Did you know this territory was last in the nation last year, and is currently last in the nation eight months into this fiscal year?"
"Doug, manage your expectations. Your book of business is dead last." (I responded, only in my head, "yeah, I already heard that one yesterday by someone else. Sigh".) Why in the heck did you take this promotion?"
"Good luck with that one, dude."
Guess what happened next?
All of the self-doubt. All of the assumed projections that were going to unfold in the next year (and they were all negative assumptions and projections). All the perceived barriers, hurdles, and gaps that were going to prevent me from crushing the business came flooding into my mind. I had, in fact, quickly built a wall of prohibitions that were going to undermine my success:
Marketing won't give me the support I need to move the business in the right direction.
Headquarters won't give me the adequate expense budget to do creative events that are outside of the box.
My boss isn't going to give me the adequate runway in time to slowly, but progressively, inch the business forward and dig the account out of last place.
EVERYBODY thinks this account will ALWAYS be in last place. It doesn't matter that I'm now the person in charge of the business.
But these were perceived prohibitions, they weren't real. There was a lot of negative talk throughout this large division that this territory was, and always will be, in bad shape. The idea that this account was "poor Missouri and Illinois" seemed like a real prohibition.
But marketing hadn't shut down any requests for more support that I had asked for. In fact, I hadn't asked for anything yet. Instead, I got swept away in the negative prohibitive self-talk and assumed that they wouldn't support me. When it came to asking HQ for a bigger budget for expenses and events, I hadn't even asked yet. But I had already turned into Eeyore (the cute but sullen donkey from Winnie the Pooh) and assumed they would prohibit me from spending more than what was already allotted.
In my mind I had concluded that I couldn't do something different in this business. That I couldn't do something better. I had concluded that there was a wall of prohibitions that were going to prevent me from being successful.
As Richard Bach said from his book Illusions, "Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."
What lies about yourself are you still believing?
Many of us hold deeply ingrained beliefs about ourselves, or our situations, that are not true.
So many times, I have told myself that I can't do certain things because of my own fears and self-imposed limitations. And those times when I have acted on fear? I have robbed myself of something bigger that could be in store for me. As healthy leaders, the mission we participate in and the influence we have with those around us are much bigger than our inhibitions.
No matter how long we have been leaders, most of us still have limiting beliefs about ourselves.
To become the best leader you can be, you must renew your mindset by recognizing these lies and replacing them with related truths about who you really are.
An essential step in renewing our minds is recognizing and getting rid of those barriers we impose on ourselves. In RethinkWork's coaching practice, the idea and the tool we use for this is called "Who says you can't?" This tool is centered on what a person can or cannot do, whether they are inhibited or prohibited.
Courtesy of GiANT Worldwide
Being prohibited is to be told you cannot do something by someone else with authority. Being inhibited is you telling yourself that you cannot do something.
Too often, we mistake Inhibitions for Prohibitions. In other words, you have power over more things than you think. Going back to my example when I felt prohibited from getting adequate support from marketing, headquarters, and my boss as I took over the two states in this large national division – that wasn't a prohibition. Remember, I hadn't even asked for anything yet. How can I say it's a prohibition if I haven't even given someone the opportunity to turn down my request? The higher-ups weren't enforcing restrictions on me, rather I was acting in an inhibited manner and limiting my beliefs. My inhibitions actually became a bit paralyzing where I was afraid to ask those in leadership for support.
Distinguishing between true prohibitions and then self-imposed inhibitions is important because you must respond in different ways to overcome them. Inhibitions are false obstacles - overcoming them requires you to shift your mindset, face your fears, and lead yourself more effectively.
With the business in Missouri and Illinois that I was leading? I finally got my mind renewed. I ditched the false wall of prohibitions that, frankly, didn't exist. I then grasped that I was inhibited. Me. I was inhibited. I was inhibiting me with a bunch of junky lies. I was believing in some false beliefs that I couldn't be successful, that I couldn't get more support from marketing and HQ, that I wouldn't have a boss that wouldn't understand the long-play to turn this territory around. All of that was just not true.
I renewed my mind, and started asking for support. I started asking, persistently, for help from marketing. You know what? They gave it to me. I started asking HQ for a bigger budget. You know what? They gave it to me. I walked my boss through the long-play, through my long-term strategic plan to turn the territory around – but I needed his support and protection that this would take some time. I needed his air cover when HQ would be inquiring why things weren't happening quicker. You know what? He liked my plan, and believed I could do it.
So I got to work, and things started to change. For the better.
When you refuse to believe the lies you tell yourself, you can overcome your inhibitions and live out your full potential.