You Are More Telepathic Than You Think
Quite possibly, the best gift you can give to your team, your people, and your clients is being present. I know there can be an argument made for other things that would be at the top of the list… Integrity, predictability, empathy, a feeling that you're easy to do business with, congeniality – the list goes on. These are all super important. And I'm not arguing to exclude any of them; I'm just arguing for "presence" topping the list. It's astonishing to see that even in the post-Covid world, where digital platforms like Zoom play a significant role in conducting business, people attend meetings without being fully engaged or present. They are multitasking and easily distracted. And it's telepathic. It's quite evident when someone is not fully present.
When you're on a Zoom call with your camera off, it's evident that you're not fully engaged in the meeting. Let me share an interesting fact that I've shared in previous articles: People remember 7% of what you say, 38% of the tone of your words/voice, and 55% of your non-verbal communication. In other words, your non-verbal communication is actually communicating a heck of a lot. So, by attending a Zoom meeting with your camera off, you're unintentionally signaling that something else takes priority over the meeting's subject or its participants. According to the statistics mentioned earlier (which are accurate), not having your camera on results in a loss of 55% of your communication impact with others in the meeting. Consequently, this translates to an engagement rating of _**F-**_ with fellow digital attendees.
Keep in mind that those on the receiving end aren't just faces on a screen; they are real individuals. Therefore, it is vital to present your best self during interactions.
Before I go on, I must admit that following this principle feels unnatural to me. I am inherently inclined to focus on the future; as a 5 Voices Pioneer, an Enneagram Eight, and a "Red" temperament, my default mode is future-oriented. Therefore, I need a lot of mindfulness and deliberate effort to stay present.
In all candor, I have tripped over myself more times than I care to acknowledge in this area, leaving those closest to me feeling neglected. This includes my wife, my three children, my past and current direct reports, and even my clients. They have sensed that I prioritize something else over being fully present with them. Whether it's constantly checking my phone, glancing at my watch, or failing to engage visually during a Zoom call, this behavior is unacceptable. It signifies poor leadership. I need to hold myself accountable and acknowledge that my predisposition toward future thinking does not justify being distracted when interacting with others. Using my futuristic nature as an excuse for not giving my undivided attention is simply not justifiable.
So many well-known people – and people smarter than me – have discussed this. Simon Sinek, for instance, delivered a great talk on the disempowering effect of having your cell phone in hand while spending time with someone. Even if you're not using it, just holding the phone can make the other person feel less important. Simon suggests putting your phone down or, even better, out of sight.
As leaders, maintaining focus is crucial and within your control. When interacting with others, ensure your video is on during digital meetings. Put your cell phone down. Don't try to do something else while you're in that meeting. Simply put, when you are a little bit distracted, your behavior is telepathic to everybody around you. We can tell when you are distracted. People can tell when I'm distracted. Everyone present can easily sense our lack of focus, and it sends the wrong message. To set the right tone for everyone involved, showing attentiveness and respect during meetings is crucial.
One disclaimer: When somebody else shows up in a meeting and is not fully present with you, it's good to lean towards trust rather than suspicion. Assume they may be having a difficult day and give them the benefit of the doubt. However, if this behavior persists and you notice a pattern, especially if you genuinely care about them and want the best for them, it's essential to address it. Approach them with a constructive challenge, explaining how their disengagement is impacting their influence. Offering this feedback can help them recognize any blind spots and support their personal development.
If you find it challenging to stay present, establish simple guidelines and stick to them. For instance:
Offer your undivided attention to the people you are meeting with.
During face-to-face meetings, keep your phone away and out of sight – store it in your pocket, turn off notifications, or set it to silent.
In digital spaces like Zoom, disable email and text notifications.
Be focused and present. Make sure you're looking at the person who is talking and that you are looking at the other people in the room.
Pay attention to other people's nonverbal communication – half of the communication you're going to get from the person comes from their body language.
Imagine if everyone followed this approach – the level of respect AND productivity that could take place would be off the charts.
Unfortunately, many of us have our cell phones glued to our hands. Most people are trying to multitask and do a bunch of different things. I was in a meeting the other day with someone, and they had their computer, their phone, and their iPad in front of them while they were trying to have a conversation. It was truly pretty laughable. I actually did laugh out loud because it was so funny. The good thing is that the other person had a good sense of humor and could take a bit of ribbing for being so ridiculous and extreme with all of the multitasking they had going on. You owe to yourself the gift of being present. Being fully engaged allows you to absorb every interaction and connect deeply with others. This approach will not only help you bring out your best self but also inspire others to do the same.