It only takes one person to change the team. To be clear, this new person can make the team better. They can be that superstar that the team needs, they fill an important gap, they enhance what is already in place, and they bring new and fresh ideas that embolden the values and the culture that the team feels is critical. And, then, it can go in the opposite direction – where the new candidate is not fulfilling the gap that they were intended to fill, where their ideas (although different and diverse) don’t really lineup with what this team is doing and what this team needs, or where their values don’t align with the team that is already in place.

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There’s a different way to lead. A better way. The best way. It’s not natural for me, and the reality is that it’s probably not natural for you. In fact, your natural way is probably one of three styles of leadership: Dominate, Protect, or Abdicate. This fourth, and best, way to lead takes a lot of intentionality. I mean, A LOT of intentionality. But it’s the best way.

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For the record, “conflict” is not bad in and of itself. It’s neutral. Yes, neutral. It can be good, such as when it’s used to flesh-out gaps on a team, or tee-up diverse opinions so that a team can arrive at the best opinion (or course of action). And, not to state the obvious, it can be bad; such as when you are powering-up to win the argument…even at the expense of losing influence because you are bowing-up so much.

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We all want to learn, grow, get tools and be highly skilled at what we do; however, when it comes to how we interact with each other, none of that matters if we do not give the time and attention to growing our self-awareness.

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Nothing feels better than knowing you have nothing to hide. Nothing feels better than your actions are congruent with your values, your ideologies, and your beliefs. Nothing feels better than knowing everything you have done is on the up and up. When you are acting this way, there is a confidence, a carefree attitude, an unrivaled swagger.

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Years ago, I was in a relatively senior leadership position at work. It was considered a “superstar” team within the industry. We recruited top talent and retained top talent. Once you arrived in this place, you rarely left. You were given the top resources, and you were surrounded by go-getters who were super focused on goal completion. The work ethic of the individuals that contributed to a team outcome were off the chart. Integrity was intact and a non-negotiable. It had over a 95% year-over-year retention rate.

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Last week marked the twenty-year memorial of a battle in Afghanistan that I participated in. The date of the battle was March 4th of 2002. The battle is called Robert's Ridge in honor of the Navy Seal – Neil Roberts – who was killed on top of the mountain. I'm not going to unpack the entire battle in this short article, but I will point out one fact: The guys that died on the mountain that day did so because they intentionally went back for Neil.

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Being predictable is a great trait in leadership. That's right, as boring as it sounds, consistency inspires trust. Life is unpredictable at uncertain at times, but your leadership shouldn't be.

Do you know how you lead? Do you know how you lead in a specific situation? Do you know how, through your leadership lens, you would respond during an unexpected situation? How do you really know how you would react, how you would lead?

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To be deeply developed as a leader, takes a lot of guts. Not just a little bit of guts, a lot of guts. Yet, it’s worth it; but, candidly, there are a number of pain points to go through before you get to the “it’s worth it” piece. So here’s the bad first (and there’s a lot of it), and then I end with the good.

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